


So Fluffy

by matan4il



Series: Bottom Robert Appreciation Week [4]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bottom Robert Appreciation Week, Bottom Robert Sugden, Despicable Me reference, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffiness, Humor, M/M, Unicorns, humor fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 07:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il
Summary: Robert tries to get Liv a birthday present.





	So Fluffy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Bottom Robert Appreciation Week on Tumblr.
> 
> Day 4 theme: **Fluffy**
> 
> Again, unbeta'd. All mistakes and general stupidity are mine. Reference in the title is of course to Agnes' adorable reaction in Despicable Me to the stuffed unicorn. If you haven't seen that short scene yet, what are you doing here? Go on YouTube and watch it!
> 
> Enjoy!

"A unicorn?" Aaron's eyebrow has never been more raised. "You bought Liv a stuffed unicorn for her birthday?"

"It's not just any stuffed unicorn," Robert protests, "it's insanely fluffy. It's so fluffy, she's gonna die."

"Someone's going to die alright," Aaron deadpans. He tries to assess the damage. "Ok, there's still time. Maybe if we give it a Metallica T-shirt?"

"How are we going to do that?" Robert asks in a tone that makes it clear he's still deeply offended by the fact that Aaron thinks his gift needs fixing. Discussing the exact ways to go about it is just his way of letting the insult in his voice ring in Aaron's ears.

"Maybe they have Metallica shirts for kids that we can dress it up in?" Aaron suggests. Robert is not pleased by how completely his husband is failing to appreciate his passive-aggressive skills. He turns it up a notch. "Of course. Loads of parents take their children to those concerts."

"Oy, me mom once took me to one," it's Aaron's turn to protest. This, Liv would have summed up if she were around at that moment, was their true division of labor. "And Liv loves me old Metallica song collection. She's technically still a kid."

"Liv loves you and to annoy me, those are the only reasons why she listens to that noise," Robert makes a face. 

Aaron snorts. That shouldn't be as adorable as it is. "You really are an old man, aren't you?"

"I have refined tastes. And mind you, you shouldn't be so cheeky or you won't get your own pressie."

Aaron's ears prick up, though Robert can clearly tell that he's trying to conceal that. "A pressie for me? It's not me birthday."

"Well, I wouldn't have been celebrating Liv's birthday if it weren't for you, seemed reasonable to get you one too."

That earns Robert that little sparkle in Aaron's eye he knew it would. "Go on then, give it here."

Robert gets all perked up, brilliant passive-aggressiveness completely forgotten, and he swiftly goes and gets an elongated object, wrapped up in colorful paper. Aaron eyes it suspiciously, weighs it in his hands. "It's a dildo, isn't it?"

Robert's proud smile is about to split up his face. "A unicorn one." He doesn't wait for the cynical response he knows is coming, wraps up his arms around his husband's midriff and adds lowly, "I'll let you use it on me in whatever way you like."

"So you should have said you got yourself a pressie." Robert's satisfied grin, stupid idiot as the man may be, is the most fantastic sight. It lights up everything. There is no way Aaron is telling him that's the best thing about the gift, so he has no choice but to kiss Robert, unwrap his present and put it to good use immediately. At least with a brand new dildo up his arse, Robert's less likely to make any more embarrassing old man remarks.


End file.
